Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts

Friday, June 17, 2011

Happy Father's Day!


For in the child lies the future of the world. Mother must hold the baby close so that he knows that it is his world. Father must take him to the highest hill to see what his world is like.

This quote came from the end of the touching Father's Day Flashmob in Denver video organized by Dads Adventure. Make sure to check out the associated article The Dignity of Being a Dad and read about the new brotherhood of dads initiative.

Here are some previous father-specific posts from the CfM blog:
Fatherhood challenges us, but it also enlarges us and reshapes our perception of what is important in the world around us. As we take stock of this new world, we find that doing our job as a dad is inherently honorable and respectful, and brings to us the dignity that goes with the territory. Far from being emasculating, being a dad makes us men in the finest sense of the term. --Dads Adventure

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Friday, June 18, 2010

Book Review: Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers


Since Father's Day is this weekend, I thought this was a perfect book review to share!

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE
http://talkbirth.wordpress.com

Since partner support of a breastfeeding mother is one of the most important factors in breastfeeding success, the short book Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers is a valuable book indeed. Written in a clear, straightforward format, brief one-page sections address topics like, “why you want your baby breastfed,” “is formula really so bad,” “a happier, healthier mom,” “sex and the breastfeeding woman,” and “when breastfeeding is not advised.” There is also a brief segment about safe co-sleeping. These sections are followed by a brief FAQ addressing topics such as how often mom should breastfeed, how to know baby is getting enough milk, how long to breastfeed, nipple piercing, breast implants, alcohol, and breastfeeding in public.

As a quote in the book states, “Having a father is critical to the healthy development of a child. Being a father is critical to the healthy development of a man.” Providing breastfeeding information specific to fathers, Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers supports this healthy development of father, mother, and baby.

A Spanish edition, a low-literacy (abridged) version, an ebook edition, and a hospital edition (co-sleeping information omitted) of Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers are all available at various affordable prices from Platypus Media.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Multimedia Review: Baby’s First Gift

Multimedia Review: Baby’s First Gift
Casscom Media, 2009
2 CD & DVD Set
http://www.babysfirstgift.com/

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE
http://talkbirth.wordpress.com

For parents who are drawn to the idea of “prenatal education,” the set Baby’s First Gift is a good resource. Containing two CDs and one DVD packaged together, the program is designed to help parents in “forming a positive, loving, teaching relationship with your child before birth.” The information provided is developed specifically for the purposes for prenatal stimulation and communication. There is a Christian overtone to the packaging, but it is very slight and unlikely to make other faith traditions feel uncomfortable.

The first CD in the Baby’s First Gift program consists of instrumental music that would be good for use in birth classes, for relaxation, and for baby-parent bonding. The second CD explains the concept of prenatal education and includes explanations of several different games/exercises to do with baby prenatally—kick game, xylophone game (with three musical notes), and simple words. It also suggests creating your own special song or melody to share with your baby in-utero (great idea for dads). This CD also includes a section about preparing for birth and has a guided relaxation exercise. The DVD presentation is of a pregnant couple demonstrating the prenatal education exercises explained on the CD. Like the first CD, the second half of the DVD is "Prenatal Music for Life," this time set to accompanying waterfall images.

Be aware that both the CD and DVD refer frequently to the book The Prenatal Classroom which is not included as part of the program. The informational CD and DVD are narrated by men with pleasant, soothing, calm voices. The pregnant couple demonstrating exercises on the DVD are also pleasant and contemporary.

My initial reaction to a program like this was a bit of skepticism and that feeling remains after reviewing the program. As I watched the DVD, the games felt stilted and somewhat artificial—my own prenatal experiences are that bonding with, connecting to, and communicating with the baby are spontaneous, intuitive, and arise frequently without need for planned out exercises or games. However, I feel like the program may be an especially good tool to introduce to families at high-risk of child abuse. For the average couple, I think this kind of prenatal connection tends to occurs naturally without training or lessons.

From a mother’s perspective, as the one who carries the baby and is in constant contact and awareness of the baby, the idea of formal “prenatal communication” seems redundant. For fathers-to-be who are perhaps feeling distant or disconnected from the baby and the experience of pregnancy or for high-risk families, Baby’s First Gift could be a helpful tool.


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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the program for review purposes.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Book Review: Fathers-To-Be Handbook

Fathers-To-Be Handbook: A Road Map for the Transition to Fatherhood
By Patrick Houser
Creative Life Systems, 2007
Softcover, 160 pages, $16.95.
ISBN: 978-0-615-23338-3
www.fatherstobe.org

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE
http://talkbirth.wordpress.com

I am delighted to see another contribution to a growing body of birth and fatherhood literature written for men. Unlike other fathering books I’ve reviewed recently (which were also wonderful) the Fathers-To-Be Handbook was actually written by a man! This man-to-man, father-to-father perspective is a valuable strength of the book.

Patrick Houser is the father of two boys, both born at home with a midwife. His second son, born in 1980 in Missouri, was the first documented water birth in the U.S. The author has been based in the U.K. for a number of years now and is the co-founder of a wonderful organization called Fathers-To-Be, offering resources and education for expectant fathers as well as to the childbirth professionals who work with them.

Fathers-To-Be Handbook is a quick read and is a small-size paperback; like a “pocket guide.” It is definitely meant to accompany other reading and classes. It does not have an index, but does have a helpful resources section.

The first several chapters of the book are about the experience of fathering—about becoming a father, your personal history with your own father (“fathering school”—what was your teacher like?), the importance of fathers, and the journey through pregnancy. The final four chapters address preparing for birth, giving good support, empowered birth, and fathering the newborn. The handbook is very supportive of midwifery, homebirth, and doulas. It also encourages fathers to have a male support person nearby the birthing room (or perhaps available for support by phone).

As the author states in an article included at the end of the handbook, "Humanity cannot invent a drug that can work better than a mother's body can manufacture or a knife that is sharper than her instinctual nature." I deeply enjoyed an addition to birth literature that both honors the father’s experience and is rooted in a positive, healthy, celebratory approach towards birth and the inherent capabilities of a woman’s body.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Ukrainian Birth Blog and Natural Papa Blog

Late last month I posted about the apparently common birth practice in the Ukraine of routinely pulling out the woman's cervix to examine immediately postpartum (wince). Today, I'd like to share a link to a blog specifically about birth in the Ukraine. The writer is an aspiring midwife, doula, and childbirth educator, and is a missionary living in Kiev, Ukraine.

I also want to share a link to the Natural Papa blog, which I stumbled across last week via the post "Homebirth Dads: 10 Questions with Jerry Shannon." Lots of interesting posts about various aspects of natural living from a father's perspective.

Christiane Northrup, MD, has an article in The Huffington Post today called A Woman's Nation: Reclaim Your Right To Birth Right. The article primarily looks at the risks of intervention with birth. The article has a lot of comments--read them at your own risk! (I get extremely frustrated when reading article comments and try to avoid it, because it isn't worth the rise in blood pressure that results...)

Finally, a quick link to an article about a woman who is driving 350 miles to have a VBAC. What stands out to me about this article is that it is from CNN--it is great to have attention paid to VBAC bans in the "mainstream" media. The article even links to Lamaze's healthy birth practice papers for "information on getting the birth you want."

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Friday, September 4, 2009

Book Review: The Father's Home Birth Handbook


The Father’s Home Birth Handbook
By Leah Hazard
Victoria Park Press, 2008
Softcover, 208 pages
ISBN: 978-0-9560711-0-1
www.homebirthbook.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE

The Father's Home Birth Handbook is a succinct and easy to read little guide for fathers and adds to the growing library of birth resources specifically geared towards fathers-to-be. The book is written by a woman, but contains ample quotes from fathers which lend a male perspective. It also includes a number of good birth stories interspersed throughout, which were all written by men.

The target audience for the handbook is easily summed up in the prologue: “…I’ve met far more men who have responded to their partners’ home birth wishes with a mixture of shock, cynicism, and fear…Far from being domineering ogres who just want to see wifey tucked ‘safely’ away a hospital, these loving fathers have simply had very little access to accurate, impartial information about the safety and logistics of home births versus hospital births.”

The first chapter addresses “Risk & Responsibility,” because that is one of the very first issues of concern for most people new to the idea of homebirth. It moves on to a chapter called “Think Positive,” followed by “Choosing the Guest List” and then one titled “Pleasure and Pain” This chapter covers comfort measures and what to do while the woman you love is giving birth: “…away from the intravenous drip and ticking clocks, you can support your partner in experiencing labour in all of its awesome, challenging power.”

Chapter five—“Birth: Normal and Extraordinary” covers Labor 101 topics, including what to do with the placenta. This is followed by “Challenges & Complications” which covers some common issues of concern such as premature labor, being overdue, prolonged labor, distressed baby, cord around the neck, tearing, and blood loss. Each of these is followed by a “what can I do to help?” section.

The final chapter—“Now What?”—concludes with a nice segment called “how can I carry the lessons I’ve learned from my homebirth with me into the rest of my life as a father?”

Published in Scotland, the handbook has a UK perspective—it assumes participation in the NHS and a “booked” midwife and homebirth. There is no “how to choose a midwife” type of section (because there is no choice of midwives). For US readers, this leaves a set of issues unaddressed—such as varying legal statuses, etc. UK specific issues also arise based on the possibility of caregivers who are not thrilled about homebirth, but who have to come to the birth since it is a government supported option. It comes across that in Scotland homebirth may seem readily okay on paper, but in reality is more difficult to pull off.

The book does briefly discuss the birth climate in the US and soundly critiques ACOG’s position on homebirth.

The book has an index and a resources section.

The Father’s Home Birth Handbook is a friendly, practical, matter-of-fact, helpful little guide that neatly addresses common questions and concerns many fathers-to-be have about planning a homebirth.

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Associated amusing anecdote: my three year old noticed me reading this book, looked at the cover and said, "The dad is trying to grab him, but that little baby is floating away!

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Monday, August 17, 2009

Fatherhood Resources

Rather than repeat myself here, here is a link to a post I just wrote at ICEA about resources for fathers. Two of them are homebirth specific, the others are more general.

I've noticed more and more resources becoming available for fathers to be and I hope the trend continues. I believe that men, women, babies, and society all benefit when fathers are invested in fatherhood!

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Friday, July 31, 2009

Birth & Politics

Just a quick quote this week from the book Homebirth by Sheila Kitzinger:

"Fathers' sharing in the birth experience can be a stimulus for men's freedom to nurture, and a sign of changing relationships between men and women. In the same way, women's freedom to give birth at home is a political decision, an assertion of determination to reclaim the experience of birth. Birth at home is about changing society." (emphasis mine)

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day!

"Where once it was thought that the minds and bodies of men were hardly affected by fatherhood, today scientists are discovering that fatherhood changes men down to the cellular level." (emphasis mine, The Daddy Brain)

Giving birth, mothering, and fathering are tremendously significant events--biologically, individually, relationally, socially, and culturally!

I wanted to share a couple of father related links from previous posts:

My Father's Day post from last year.

Review of Pregnant in America DVD.

Review of Homebirth Dads DVD.

A post about Fathers at Birth and more about fathers at birth.

And a post that includes some information about The Father's Home Birth Handbook.

Happy Father's Day to all the homebirth dads out there! I hope you have a special day!

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Monday, May 11, 2009

International Birth Wisdom Sampler

From Australia, comes a gorgeous and unique book called Birthwork. I have never read another book like this. It is really incredible. It is also difficult to describe! Subtitled "a compassionate guide to being with birth" it is written for all birthworkers--anyone who works directly with birthing women (midwives, doulas, nurses, childbirth educators, physicians...). It is incredibly comprehensive and covers a wide range of a topics that I have never seen addressed in a book before (for example, one of the subsections is titled "Touching Vaginas"). It delves into a lot of the emotional and psychological elements of being in a caregiving field and also covers physical components as well. Truly a phenomenal read!

The author of Birthwork is also a filmmaker whose recent project is the film The Big Stretch. The neat thing about this film is that it is all about women sharing their own experiences and feelings--unlike many birth movies there are no "experts" present in the film (other than the true experts--women themselves!), the focus is on the families preparing for birth or reflecting on their past birth experiences. The film's emphasis is on "Women in different stages of pregnancy and preparing for a natural birth reflect on how they and 'stretched' in everyway - emotionally, physically and spiritually" and I enjoyed this "stretch" theme that ran throughout. (I was taken aback by footage at the close of the film of a totally naked man riding a bicycle and feel I should warn other viewers to be prepared for that!)

From Scotland, I enjoyed reading the new book The Father's Home Birth Handbook by Leah Hazard. This was a succinct and easy to read little guide for fathers and adds to the growing library of birth resources specifically geared towards fathers-to-be. A quote I particularly liked was in answer to the question: But isn't it possible to have a normal, natural birth in the hospital? The response was clear and honest:
Rather than rushing into the labour suite at the first sign of a contraction, she labours comfortably at home, using relaxation techniques and the support of her partner to help her through the early stages. When she feels that birth is imminent, she makes her way to the hospital, where her waters break on their own, her contractions remain strong and consistent, and she continues to cope well with the pain. This woman uses gravity-efficient positions to deliver her baby without the help of surgical instruments and, after breastfeeding her new arrival, she waits for the placenta to slip away on its own. Tucked up in a bed of clean sheets with a tremendous sense of wellbeing and accomplishment, she has just enjoyed a normal, physiological birth in the hospital.

Do you know any women who could tell you such a story? they must exist, but unfortunately, they are a significant minority...'a woman wanting a 'natural' or 'normal' birth will find such a thing almost impossible to achieve in modern hospitals'...The image of a woman sailing through normal labour in a hospital, untouched by needle, knife, or drug, has become little more than a fantasy...
Finally, from New Zealand, is The Pink Kit. This resource has been available for a number of years, but I only bought a copy this year. It is rapidly becoming one of my favorite resources! I continue to find new and useful information within the Kit and I really recommend it. It covers very basic, "common knowlege" information and brings it all together in a useful way. There is a heavy emphasis on knowing your body and how it moves and works and on pelvic bodywork. The Pink Kit consists of a DVD, a book, and three more pdf companion books. An example from the book: "Modern culture often teaches us to be 'tight'...trim, taut, and terrific! But there is a difference between being fit and well-exercised and having a 'tight' body. We understand the need to stay 'fit' at this time, but we would also like to encourage you to soften yourself, in preparation for mothering and nurturing your baby. Soften your viewpoint, soften your body, surrender to this awe-inspiring event. We can assure you that in this way, you will be preparing yourself not only for labour, but for the days and years afterward..." Read more about the Birth Wisdom this resource has to offer here.

And continue following the International Birth Wisdom Week journey from it's launchpad at Independent Childbirth!

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Molly
CfM Blogger

Monday, March 9, 2009

DVD Review: Pregnant in America

DVD Review
Pregnant in America
www.pregnantinamerica.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer

Filmed by a father-to-be, Pregnant in America follows a young couple as they prepare for the birth of their first child at home and are surprised by what they learn about “life’s greatest miracle in the hands of a nation’s powerful interests.” The film was created by a layperson and sometimes that shows, but overall the film’s format lends a contemporary edge. Interview clips with birth experts such as Marsden Wagner, Robbie Davis-Floyd, Ina May Gaskin, and Kerry Tuschhoff are interspersed with segments of the pregnant mother (Mandy) talking about her pregnancy and her hopes for the birth. There are also a number of clips of person-on-the-street soundbites that add interest to the film.

Substories about a woman who travels to Canada for a chance at a VBAC, about Cytotec and the Tatia Oden French foundation, and about the birth practices in Holland add to the strong dose of activism to the film. There are also some interesting encounters when Steve (the father/filmmaker) tries to get answers from a hospital as to why a cesarean was recommended for his sister-in-law (she gives birth vaginally with a different doctor and then they discover her original doctor is scheduled for vacation time—her supposedly medically-indicated cesarean having been proposed for right before the vacation is to begin…).

The film comes to a fairly dramatic close when the Buonaugurio baby is born at home and then transferred to the NICU for an undiagnosed reason. Because of the stressful feelings generated by the hospital footage, I would hesitate to recommend this film to a pregnant couple without a “disclaimer” letting them know that the baby is hospitalized (the baby is later fine and is shown as a happy, walking one year old).

The main emphasis of Pregnant in America is advocacy and activism. It is not a “birth movie” per se in that it has no live birth footage (there is some labor footage and then snapshots of the birth). It definitely kept my attention and it has a powerful message to share with parents-to-be about maternity care as an industry.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Film Review: Homebirth Dads

From the Fall 2008 issue of CfM News, I wanted to share my review of the DVD Homebirth Dads.

DVD Review: Homebirth Dads: The Dad’s Perspective on Homebirthing, 1hr 10m.

Jorge Visions Unlimited Productions, 2007.

Reviewed by Molly Remer

Filmed in Ithaca, NY, in a question and response format, this video lets homebirth dads share their perspectives, opinions, and feelings about homebirth. Each dad is interviewed individually in his workplace (I had pictured all the men being together in one room in circle answering questions). The film cuts from father to father as they shared their responses to a series of questions about birth, homebirth, midwives, and midwifery. The fathers are a bricklayer, a massage therapist, a social worker, a doctor, a university administrator, and a museum director. This highlights a factor noted time and again in real-life midwifery circles--the homebirth population is an incredibly diverse one!

What I loved about this film were the great still photos of the dads with their babies at the opening and closing of each question scene. It made me realize how very little we see of loving daddies with their babies. I’m so absorbed by mothers, babies, and birth that I forget the awesome tenderness of a man with his newborn. We usually only see those pictures from our own families. It was very special to see those private peeks at other men’s vulnerable moments. Beautiful!

Another portion that I really enjoyed were the men’s responses to the question, "What did you realize about your wife?" I loved to hear the words they used to speak about their wives and the births of their children: Respect, amazement, awe, concentration, fortitude, stamina, amazing, admiration, endurance, self-sacrifice, gratifying, enormous, her ability to stay focused—guided us all, magical moment, clear, committed, challenging, extraordinary, full of admiration, trust, clear... One father summed up some of the magic of birth by saying, "Whole new arena—like opening a door in a house and discovering a whole new room."

One question in the series of questions is if insurance companies cover homebirth. This question needed more coverage (or a "footnote" along the bottom of the screen), because the answer from all the men was basically, "yes, insurance will cover it," which is far from true in many states.

The film is in basically in a "talking heads" format and is probably best viewed in several segments rather than all at once (there is no chapter select set up on the DVD).

I think the video fills a definite gap amongst birth films. It is also the only birth video I’ve ever seen that has NO WOMEN in it! While this might seem weird on one hand, this is also what makes this film fill a very specific gap (because men are usually on the periphery of other birth films, if they are really included at all).

As I watched it, I could think of several times when I would have liked to have a video like this available to birth classes. Homebirth Dads definitely has a useful place in the lending libraries of midwives, childbirth educators, and Friends of Midwives chapters.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love & Birth

Given the day, I'm prompted to share two quotes related to love and birth.

From the book Childbirth with Insight by Elizabeth Noble:

"Birth, like love, is an energy and a process, happening within a relationship. Both unfold with their own timing, with a uniqueness that can never be anticipated, with a power that can never be controlled, but with an exquisite mystery to be appreciated."

Then, from a beautiful article called The Origin of Love written by a father in LLLI's magazine New Beginnings:

"...instead comes a gesture: a small wave of the hand and caressing of the fingers as she slowly soothes our baby and he falls back to sleep. I do not think words are possible to explain this moment to any person who has never seen it. It is a moment in which after having given birth to life, a woman gives birth to love. A woman does not read this kind of expression in a book or hear it in an aria. This moment is the birth of love from eons of pressure that have been building. This one gesture in the darkness suggests the origins of love, for love is not just the opposite of something. Love is born of a mother's self-restraint. Love is the product of the pressure that builds in a woman at 3 am. For, at that moment, one could almost hear the carbon molecules slipping into position in some bedrock hundreds of miles beneath the earth's surface, creating the diamond that is every woman and is my wife." (emphasis mine)

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Molly Remer
CfM Blogger

Friday, January 2, 2009

More about Fathers at Birth

I previously mentioned that I was looking forward to reading the new book Fathers at Birth by Rose St. John. Well, I finished reading it last week and it did not disappoint! This book is a valuable contribution to birth literature and I hope men, women, doulas, nurses, midwives, and birth educators all seek it out to read. Though it is specifically written to/addressed to men women with same-sex partners would likely find it has a lot to offer to them as well. I read it through the "lens" of a childbirth educator seeking to more fully engage the men in my classes. I found several good, practical ideas in this book that will help me reach out to men as well as just some general concepts and language that will enhance my ability to connect. So, though it is written for men at birth, it has a great deal to offer to anyone involved with supporting birthing women.

As I've developed as a birth educator, I find myself more and more interested in exploring the role of men during labor and the ways in which men can prepare for birth and for fatherhood and the things that educators can do to facilitate this process. I'm also interested in birth as a rite of passage for men as well as for women (see prior post). And, I'm also interested in the question, "do men belong at birth?" and, indeed, whether they want to be there--I've moved from feeling like all fathers-to-be should be at the births of their children, to recognizing that families have a variety of different circumstances and needs and that couples have different "personalities." Research has indicated that men take on one of three roles during labor the role of "coach" the role of "teammate" and the role of "witness." Most men take on the "witness" role--regardless of what their partners want/expect from them. Rose St. John's book offers two new roles--those of "warrior" and "mountain." These, to me, seem more empowering.

For a thought-provoking post about men in the birth place and whether or not they actually want to be there, check out this post: Men in the Labor Room: Do they want to be there.

Independent Childbirth also has a brief post about Men at Birth.

Another resource focused on men and fathers is Dads Adventure. I use their little magazine in my classes and find it useful to have something to hand out that is specifically written for men (and, in this case, addresses fatherhood).

In addition to the Birth Partner book I mentioned before, two other books specifically for men about birth are the older books Sharing Birth by Carl Jones and The Active Birth Partner's Handbook by Janet Balaskas.

I actually have a number of quotes marked to share from Fathers at Birth, but as this post is getting quite long already I'll save them for another time!

Molly Remer
CfM Blogger

Friday, December 12, 2008

Fathers at Birth

Yesterday, I was very excited to learn about a new book called Fathers at Birth. I'm definitely looking forward to reading it, as I think it fills a very specific and valuable need. As a childbirth educator, I have a special interest in fathers at birth and I'm hoping to learn a lot more from this book and to pick up good ideas to pass along to others.

The author opens the book with a "taxicab delivery story" in which she briefly tells the classic story of a mother having a baby in the back of a taxi. She then goes on to say:

"So why am I telling this story? Everyone has heard a version of it, and no one wants to consider a taxi delivery as an option for birth. But what does it have to do with you, a father-to-be? Just like the driver, an expectant father is already equipped to attend his partner during childbirth (emphasis mine); the secret is switching modes. The driver has to shift out of his angst and habitual way of thinking so he can see and respond to the situation as it is. Not how he wants it to be. He has to show up and play it as it lays. In this story, the driver and the woman discover their capacity beyond the edge. While neither wants a taxi delivery, when push comes to shove, they immerse themselves, and they succeed."

Can't wait to read the whole thing!

Speaking of fathers at birth, I posted here before about the upcoming documentary The Other Side of the Glass that explores fathers' experiences of childbirth.

Couples planning homebirths may wish to look into the new film Homebirth Dads, that I reviewed for the fall issue of CfM News. The filmmaker was interviewed this week on the Hypnobabies radio show and you can click here to hear the interview

And finally, no post about fathers at birth would be complete without a reference to a classic book for fathers and other birth support people: The Birth Partner, by Penny Simkin. This book was released in a new edition earlier this year.

Friday, November 14, 2008

More Articles in Unexpected Places

After enjoying the New York Times article about homebirth this week, I wanted to post about a couple of other articles that popped up in unexpected places for me this month.

The first is an article called Industrial Childbirth that was published in Adbusters. The concluding paragraph is particularly powerful:

"I wish that we talked about it. That we could stop reveling in horror stories and better place our fingers on the reason for our traumatic births – not the curse of Eve medicated to by our benevolent system – but the systematic violence that delivers our babies for fear that we might give birth to them ourselves. For in the process we might begin to understand our own strength and find words for our anger. We might begin to disobey."

Speaking of difficult births, there was also a brief article on this subject in Ode Magazine this month. I was very surprised to see it there, but less surprised to see that it was by Jennifer Block! It is a very short piece in the "Ode to Possibilities" section of the magazine. The piece is about midwives coming to help in Sri Lanka post-tsunami. The midwife quoted says, "Midwives are leaders in their communities, they're the women we trust, they lead us through transition in our lives...They are these things to women all over the world." The article ends with the classic sentiment, "peace on earth begins with birth." According to a search, the article is available online, but when I go to the link it is down. I'm including it here anyway, in case it starts to work!

I've long enjoyed Ode magazine, it is one of my favorites among non-birth related publications. So, I love to see birth getting some attention in its pages.

It is VERY exciting to me to see birth issues touched on in publications like this--birth activists have always know that *birth matters* and it is good to see public confirmation that it does. Birth issues don't need to only be discussed in birth-related publications, they belong everywhere--Ode, Adbusters, the NYT. This is great!

Another unexpected article popped up in my Google Alerts for birth a couple of weeks ago and I've been meaning to post about it since then. The article itself is about the "the truth about Heath Ledger's women." However, what caught my eye in this article were the quotes about birth by the late actor:

"For man, birth is the realisation that you're just a hopeless, useless specimen of life and witnessing this innate, primal strength within women can be such an intimidating experience,"

"When you come out of the birthing experience, you actually have a better understanding of how and why men have over-compensated in society by creating battles and wars and steroids, and why they go to the gym. It's because we want to be strong and tough, and we're not. And it's this endless quest to kind of find this strength that can equal women's. Experiencing those nine months with Michelle was incredibly humbling, and I just relinquish all kinds of respect and power to her. She's incredible."

They article also says that they "opted for a natural birth with a doula, a non-medical assistant."

When I read things like the above, I wonder how society would change if more men had the experience of viewing their partners in this way...

Monday, September 29, 2008

Birth Film Thoughts

At the end of the week, I posted about the Orgasmic Birth film screening I went to (and shared my reservations about the title) and also posted about MANA 2008 conference blog. In a convenient coincidence, as I later scrolled through the conference blog I found that they actually addressed the title issue as by quoting from a newspaper article about the title of the film:

"First, she announced her working title, "An Ordinary Miracle: Global Models of Care."

Sit back down, they told her.

Then she tried "Ecstatic Birth." Still not good enough.

Finally, a friend Pascali-Bonaro had brought along for support whispered an idea in her ear. "Just go for it," she urged.

The fledgling filmmaker stood up and announced:

"Orgasmic Birth!"

Now they were interested." (see original article)

Though my reservations about "fringiness" still stand, I do understand the publicity maneuver of the titling choice.

And, can I just say again how very much I enjoyed this film. It has really lingered with me and I find myself referencing it in conversation. I've also had some great conversations prompted by the issues and themes it raises.

Speaking of films, here is a link to a trailer for a film for fathers coming out in 2009. Called The Other Side of the Glass, it looks like it covers a side of birth--specifically, medicalized birth--that hasn't been addressed in this way before. The trailer definitely makes me want to see more.


Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day!

In a nice coincidence, yesterday I received a copy of the new film Homebirth Dads, by Jorge Cuevas. I look forward to watching this film, which I think fills a real gap in the birth world. Watch for my full review in the fall issue of CfM News!

Thinking about Father's Day and birth and this film reminded me of Pam England's article On Becoming a Father and the need in our culture for "fathers to mentor and initiate [new] fathers" and how we can try to "...support the emerging father's birth as a father." I hope that this film will help to serve in that role.

At my Holistic Moms Network meeting last week we took turns sharing our favorite memories of our husbands/partners during the births of our children and in early postpartum. This topic was inspired by a post at the mamaroots blog in honor of Father's Day. It was a moving meeting and it was beautiful to hear the accounts of the tenderness, courage, strength, and nurturing that these men had offered to their wives and new babies. It was also a time for us to honor men and the value of males and of the role of father which is sometimes overlooked by our emphasis on women and on mothering. I was surprised to find my eyes filling with tears are I shared my own precious memories of the irreplaceable support my husband gave me during the births of our sons and the beauty and intensity of his connection to his newborn children.

Last month, I was interested to read a sidebar called "Biochemical Changes Help Drive Fathers Forward" in the Spring issue of the International Journal of Childbirth Education. Men also experience hormonal changes in preparation for birth and the weeks following birth. Research indicates the following changes in fathers-to-be:

  • Stress hormone cortisol doubles in the 3 weeks prior to birth (to intensify response to baby's cries and a protective instinct).
  • There is a 20% increase in prolactin levels (enhances instinct to care lovingly for the baby).
  • "A 33% drop in testosterone in the 3 weeks following birth and a bounce back to normal at 4-7 weeks postpartum" (diminishes sex drive and enables strong focus on bonding with the baby).
So, today lets hear it for the guys and the wonderful, special gifts they offer to their families in birth, postpartum, and beyond. Happy Father's Day!