Thursday, November 12, 2009

Grief & Taking a Break

Well, shortly after I posted last week my life took a sad and unexpected turn. I was 14 weeks pregnant with my third baby and we found out on Friday afternoon that the baby had died. Very early Saturday morning, he was born at home. Though it was different in some ways than a full-term birth, my experience of miscarriage was very much a birth--my water broke, I had "normal" contractions for about two hours, the baby was born, we saw the tiny umbilical cord, and so forth. I was surprised to discover that some of the same feelings of empowerment were also present after a "natural home miscarriage" as with a natural home birth--I felt strong and brave and like "I did it myself!" as well as amazed at how well my body worked and knew what to do. We learned the baby was our third boy and named him Noah.

I did have what I felt like was some excessive bleeding and ended up visiting the ER for about 4 hours on Saturday morning. Luckily, it turns out that I can lose way more blood than I ever imagined possible and still be okay (my trusty body DID know what it was doing). I am physically and emotionally wiped out, however, and will as such need to be taking a break from blogging here regularly. I was already trying to minimize my posts (while keeping to the once-a-week schedule I've faithfully maintained for quite some time), but now I need to just put this blog on "hold" for a short while. I may set up some posts to post automatically while I'm away, so it doesn't become too stale (I have some book reviews already written and waiting in a file, for example).

--
Molly
CfM Blogger

12 comments:

Laurel said...

Praying for you, Molly. Thank you for sharing some of your experience with us. My heart is aching for you.

Mrs Huff RNC said...

Sorry for your loss. I truly appreciate the time & energy you put into your blog. Please, rest and take care yourself. Tanashia

Jennifer said...

So sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy Romano said...

Take the time you need, Molly. We'll be waiting here when you feel you are ready.

Thinking of you and your family. xoxo.

dmcL said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Molly. I'm glad you are resting and healing.

Becca said...

So sorry for you Molly. You take care of you first, ya hear?

roseleaf said...

I am so very sorry. We lost a baby -- our first pregnancy -- in May. It's heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I have been amazed at how many stories there are of women in a situation like mine -- I found out the baby was no longer growing by ultrasound, then waited two weeks before the physical miscarriage -- aren't given the option by their health care providers to let it happen naturally, but are just scheduled for a DNC. I'm grateful for the care I have, and the experience is part of what has brought me to your blog.

Dou-la-la said...

Very sorry to hear this. A friend of mine is currently losing a pregnancy, so it hits close to home. I hope you get some good rest and have lots of support around you.

Jessica said...

There are many of us who have been there, and have felt and still feel the pain that you're undoubtedly feeling. I'm so sorry that you had to experience this. Be good to yourself...

Oh, and as a side note, something that helped me was the loss memorial jewelry from La Belle Dame. She has beautiful pieces to honor your baby, if you're interested.

Yaya said...

(((HUGS)))

Bobby said...

Miscarriage is definitly devastating. Carrying a child with all the possibilities and hope and then loosing this child is certainly heartbreaking. Getting support from family and freinds and those who have gone through it themselves can surely help. I am so sorry for your loss.

MoDLin said...

Oh, Molly, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself and know that all of us are thinking of you and sending you gentle hugs.